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Are you misunderstanding self-confidence?

1 July 2016 • Coaching, Happiness, Psychology

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Don’t you just hate doubting yourself? Having trouble making even the simplest choices, because second-guessing yourself is such a force of habit. Not speaking up in meetings, because you’re not sure your opinion makes sense, or matters enough. Not making decisions because you keep weighing up pros and cons and just can’t feel what’s right. Getting overwhelmed because you can’t focus, delegate, or simply say ‘no’.

Oh to be blessed with a healthy dose of self-confidence. To always know what to do in every situation. To know exactly what you want and how to get it. To have the unfaltering belief that you deserve to get what you want and go for it.

On the other hand – you might not particularly like those confident types.
Those teflon-covered go-getters, you wouldn’t want to be one of them.

Of course not. Because your doubts and insecurities are what make you human.
It’s just that they shouldn’t paralyze you and keep you stuck. They shouldn’t prevent you from living your dreams, from leaving your comfort zone, from experimenting, from making mistakes, and having wonderful experiences.

Perhaps you are taking confidence to be the absence of doubt.
Perhaps you’re expecting confidence to be the absence of fear.
Perhaps you believe that confidence is about knowing that you’re absolutely right.

None of these are true.

In fact, it is quite healthy to have doubts. It is normal to feel fear. You will never be absolutely right – there’s no such thing, as we all have our own version of what is ‘right’.
Don’t sit and wait around until your doubts, fears and insecurities have disappeared. They probably won’t, and they needn’t.

What you want instead, is to learn that it is totally possible to feel fear, to have doubts, to leave room for everybody else’s version of what’s right, and yet move forward with courage, trust and confidence.

Sounds good? I’ll be running a 7-Day Self-Confidence Experience from July 11. We’ll be breaking free from the drama and stepping into confidence. You can join here.

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