It’s that time of the year again.
Are you feeling it? I certainly am.
Not just my yearly desire to go into hibernation. But the general tendency to slow down, to do some introspection, to take stock.
As nature becomes still and turns inward, so do we.
At least, that is the idea. I know many people are still running around manically, getting their shopping done and trying to make their 4th quarter targets.
But whether you choose to ignore it or not, we are part of nature’s cycle of growth and transformation, of blossoming and declining, of beginning and ending.
Our tradition to make New Year’s resolutions is proof of that. Somehow we do feel that for us too a cycle has come to an end and we get a chance to review and set new intentions.
I used to do resolutions. They never worked. And I bet for many of you it’s the same. Let me give you a few reasons why they didn’t work for me:
They were often motivated by a negative – lose weight, eat less sugar, spend less time watching tv… Does that sound like a joyful list? Of course not!
I did not really take time to sit down and reflect. I just thought: what is not going well, what am I not satisfied with? And wrote down whatever came to mind.
I did not make a plan, feel into or visualize the changes that I was after. I just thought writing them down would do the trick.
I wrote down what I didn’t want, not what I DID want.
As with goal setting in business, the process doesn’t make sense if you see it as an isolated exercise, unrelated to the rest of your business processes.
It’s like that in your life. If you’ve had ‘quit smoking’ on your list for years, and wonder why it’s not happening, you need to ask yourself if you’ve ever looked at the bigger picture of your health, longevity, shape, lung capacity, what smoking means to you, what quitting would mean to you etc. What result are you after? And how do you propose to support yourself to get there?
But maybe the most important reason why it’s not working, is that we tend to tell ourselves what NOT to do. Because it’s BAD. Because we’re judging. Because, with our natural negativity bias, we only remember what didn’t go well, where we messed up, how we failed, how far we didn’t come.
Goodness. How often have I told you that this does not motivate, nor create a safe, joyful internal learning environment.
Nor does it serve you to look at things in isolation. Every bit, every incident, relationship, habit, success and failure is part of your life, part of you, your journey.
And none of it is bad – it’s all feedback.
So, like I said, I totally believe in the idea behind resolutions. I believe in marking endings and beginnings. I believe in taking stock and looking inward.
But I believe in doing it properly, in a way that honours our life’s journey. That way, we could actually benefit from the process.
So here’s the plan. This week, I’ll be taking you through my process. Looking back and looking forward, ending and beginning, honouring, celebrating and setting proper intentions that might actually come to fruition. With a prompt in the morning, and some live calls to motivate you. Nothing fancy, simple and effective.
I’m sending the prompts in a series of extra ezines, so if you’re not a subscriber yet, opt in on the homepage. You’ll also find the prompts in my facebook group Awakening Wise Women – if you’re not a member yet, you’re more than welcome to join!
Aparte, leuke manier om er zo tegen aan te kijken. Lees wel eens meer wat over grote, snelle stappen, die na korte tijd tot stilstand komen. Een duidelijke start met een duidelijk einddoel is wel zo overzichtelijk. Wederom een mooi stukje. Bedankt voor al de lezenswaardige mails dit jaar. En natuurlijk wens ik je het beste voor het nieuwe jaar.
Met vriendelijke groeten,
Steven den Hollander
Voor jou ook een heel mooi nieuw jaar gewenst Steven.