Do you have to drag yourself out of bed sometimes, when a new working day starts? Are you having secret fantasies about quitting, or early retirement? You feel tired, drained even after a working day, the work is never done, work relations cause anxiety. You doubt whether you are in the right job, or if you are the right person for the job.
For me, when I was in (several of my) previous jobs, my dream was always to have my own business. I would be free, and in my dream there was no place for misunderstandings with people, tiresome meetings, stupid admin and mind-numbing chores.
Now that I’m a full-time entrepreneur, working with both employees and self-employed women, I know that it doesn’t matter whether you have a job or a business – you can feel unhappy, imprisoned and anxious in either.
I’m working with several women at the moment who on the outside seem very different – totally different jobs, different backgrounds, different goals in life, different life stages and living conditions. Yet, they have a few important things in common: they are doubting themselves and wondering if they are in the right job.
Or I should say: they were.
When they came in, their questions were all a version of ‘I’m unhappy in my job, it exhausts me, I constantly doubt myself, I don’t think my boss/clients/manager values me’. The solution some, not all, were looking at, was find a different job/give up their business.
After having worked with them for a few months now, none of them are thinking of quitting their jobs anymore. What they found was that the problem wasn’t so much the job, but the way they were in their job.
‘Cause you know what?
We bring our automatic behaviour patterns and limiting beliefs to the workfloor.
And so if one of our survival strategies is pleasing, then in our work environment, too, we will be apt to pleasing. That, indeed, can be draining. If we are conflict avoidant, then at work we will tend to shut up and swallow rather than stand up for ourselves. If we have trouble taking decisions, we will end up keeping too many balls in the air.
But most of all: when you have an inner critic on the loose, he or she won’t be miraculously gone when you change jobs or start a business. Self-doubt and self-criticism undermine us wherever we go, whatever we do. We may *think* it’s other people, or outside circumstances that make us feel how we feel. But in fact they only hook up to doubts, fears and beliefs that are already living inside us.
I thought that getting away from big organisations, hierarchical structures, politics and review cycles would protect my vulnerability. Only to find out that as an entrepreneur you can only have a business if you put yourself out there, and as soon as you do, all your buttons get pushed and all your fears get challenged.
Sounds depressing?
Like there’s nothing you can do, nowhere to go, you’re doomed anyway?
On the contrary.
This is actually good news.
Because you can tackle the inner critic, you can overcome self-doubt and fear.
Even better news: this doesn’t mean you have to work hard to become a different person. In fact, you only have to become MORE you.
Wholeheartedly and unabashedly.
My clients are all on a path of self-rediscovery, embracing their truth and taking decisions to start living it. It’s liberating. I see them flourish.
If this sounds in any way like you, don’t hesitate to get in touch. In a free discovery call we can find out if we could work together to have you live your truth and flourish in your job or business, like your soul wants to.
