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Are you done pleasing? Start leading – your way

It’s been quiet on the blogging front lately.

I’ve been going through a lot – which tends to make me quiet (although, if you follow me on social media, you have heard from me).

All good, by the way.
Growth, development, transformation.
In short, the stuff I help my clients with. Because that is how it works in this trade: (whatever this ‘trade’ may be, I often conveniently call it coaching, but what I really ‘do’ is difficult to pinpoint. Yesterday, I heard a colleague use the word ‘midwife’ and I liked that; I help birth they real ‘you’ that has been covered under layers of behavioural patterns, beliefs and pain. But midwife sounds a bit old fashioned and already has too many connotations. Well anyway) if you help others in their transformation processes, you will always work on your own transformation. I don’t use ‘must’ because I don’t feel that; I couldn’t do it any other way.

I often talk about soul purpose (although lately I’ve started to get bored with that word); those inescapable, driving forces in your life. Spirituality and transformation are those forces for me.

And while I write about fairly well-known, understandable and generally accepted concepts such as mindfulness, in the meantime I read books on and am in Facebook groups about much more esoteric stuff – that many would call ‘woo’.
I don’t care, by the way.

While coaching individuals and groups, I increasingly notice that I can’t get myself to stick to protocols and scripts (created by others) anymore. My intuition wants to guide me. Mindfulness and zen taught me that this moment is all there is. And in this moment, now, there are no protocols and scripts. In this moment, there is guidance, from a source we are all connected to (or part of) – you can call it intuition.

The more space I give myself to work like that, the more my clients are on fire. I hardly believe it myself sometimes – what? this result after one, two sessions?

But it’s true.
When someone is truly ready, and I give my intuition (backed by knowledge, experience, and continuous learning and transformation) free reign, big transformations take place.
It’s beautiful

Most of my clients are women.

And although I won’t show a man that wants to work with me the door, there is a reason why I mainly work with women.

They, we, have some catching up to do. It is our time.

We have, without realizing it, been put along the masculine yardstick for centuries. Traditionally masculine characteristics are valued in our system – linear thinking, goal and action orientation, structure, pushing forward, rationalism etc.
Don’t get me wrong: these qualities have their use and place – provided they are balanced and checked.

Women have these qualities too, that is not the point (just like men ideally have traditional ‘feminine’ qualities, when they are balanced and conscious), but we were taught that those are the qualities we need to develop if we wish to be of any importance at all. Traditional feminine qualities such as intuition, a more cyclical nature and way of thinking, reflection, emotions etc. have been labelled troublesome and even weak rather than commendable.

And the consequences are dire. Balance is lost. We can see it in the world (which is burning up and out) and in ourselves (even our children suffer burn out now). It’s not whimpiness. It’s disbalance. There is a lack of ‘feminine’ or yin energy. Or call it soul.
A total running havoc of yang, ego, left brain – call it what you want.

Women should not just refind their yin. They need to start leading with it. Give space to their true nature and stop thinking they can only be valued when they become some sort of faulty man. All the repressing and judging of emotions and compensating with either desperate pleasing (many women) or victim behaviour (also many women), or unhinged machismo/callousness (many men) has brought us where we are.

Painful for many (although many won’t admit to it, not even to themselves).

I work with conscious feminine leaders – or women who aspire to become one.

No, you don’t have to be CEO of a multinational, nor become one (but you can if you wish). But you do need to feel it’s time to take leadership of you own life. And show the next generation what it means to be a woman, unabashedly, doing things exactly the way you want to.
Because what’s right for you, is right for the world.

If that is what you want, I’m there for you.
You can always send me a message if you would like to hear how I can support you. It needn’t be a struggle, you see!

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