I’m resisting things all the time. Going live on Facebook. Writing a blogpost. Connecting to people (both people I know and people I don’t know – yet -). Telling people what is really REALLY going on in my mind.
In my newsletter, on social media and on my website too. I share from the heart, but sometimes I hold back. What will people think when I say this? When I show this side of me? Will they react badly? Will they unsubscribe? Will I get hated on? Or ridiculed?
What it ALL comes down to, is resistance to showing the REAL me.
The uncensured version. The version that I’m still afraid might not be accepted. And then what? I might be rejected, get scolded, criticized, bullied, cold-shouldered.
Ah, the vulnerability, the rawness of the emotions when that happens.
It is sometimes easier, and definitely a lot safer, to dust off the easy to digest version of yourself, and send her out to meetings, parties, work and on social media. You know the one I mean – the one that pleases her parents and doesn’t drop bombshells. The one that adheres to accepted values. The one that isn’t too harsh, but not too ‘spiritual’ either. Not too woo.
The girl next door. The ideal daughter. The woman people know, like and understand. The woman that is not too different from them.
The trouble with her is – she is getting fed up. She feels stifled. She gets cranky and possibly sick too. She has an opinion – and much more than that, a vision, a mission, a sacred fire. She is waking up to her truth, and keeping it inside is getting harder and harder. Perhaps her throat hurts all the time, or she has vocal problems. Or asthma, or neck pain.
But speaking the truth… scares you shitless.
Because, let’s call a spade a spade: there is the risk of rejection, criticism and ridicule. People do get nasty on (and off) social media, and project their fears onto you when you speak your truth.
You can and will get hurt, when you’re a sensitive person. When you don’t have a thick skin.
Because the trouble is, being heart-centred, being dedicated to your own and the world’s awakening, by definition means you are or become more thin-skinned and open-hearted. Emotional.
You cannot have it both ways. You cannot care, and not care.
The only way to go, is through it. Listen to your heart, speak from the heart, show up from the heart, and feel with the heart. Learn, over and over again, that you can.
An emotion, when left alone, takes 90 seconds to run its course in your body. You can do it. Breathe through it. Sit with it. Ask it what it needs. Then do that. Take ridiculous good care of you and your tender heart. But speak! The world needs you!
